Not In The Mood

You want me to write something?

Well I can't do it.

Not now.

My head is too level.

I'm too content.

Too relaxed.

There's nothing to complain about.

Nothing to cry about.

Wait.

Wait.

There's plenty to cry about.

Plenty to feel sorry for.

But I can't feel it now.

There's something blocking those feelings.

Something disguising them.

Something misleading me to believe that I feel good.

So maybe I can pretend I feel bad.

Or try to remember what bad feels like.

Bring back the pain.

Feel the sharpness.

Get into the mood.

Or out of it.

Then I'll write something.

And it will be honest.

Should I really do that?

For the sake of art?

Well, why not.

There'll be a reward.

I'll get some good black and white words.

It won't be a loss.

It will be a gain.

and a sacrifice.

01/10/02